The joys of Christmas solitude

This Christmas I'm doing just what I like. I chose when to get up and I'll go to bed when I feel like it too. I'm deciding what to eat and when, and what activities to enjoy: mostly reading, listening to music, watching TV and going for a walk. It's relaxing and fantastic. It's exactly what  I needed.

Of course, I'm lucky. I've spoken to family members, including my children, and I know they're fine. I also have good health and no money worries for myself. Things aren't so easy for people who are ill, worried about family and friends, or poor. And I like being alone - not because I dislike people but because a period of solitude is a good way to restore energy and optimism. This means that my recipe for a happy and solitary Christmas won't suit everyone. But this is what works for me.

1. Prepare in advance. Think about what you would like to eat and drink - and what would count as a special treat. As there is no-one telling you what you have to eat and drink on Christmas Day, you can choose exactly what you like. It could be curry, pizza or beans on toast. The important thing is that you choose it because you enjoy it.

2. Buy yourself a small present. This should be something you would like that you wouldn't otherwise buy. I bought books - and I also borrowed a huge pile of books from the public library. That's my idea of pleasure. It may not be yours. The treat doesn't have to cost a lot of money - if it's a library book it's free - but it does have to be special and a bit indulgent. It could be a bubble bath or a bar of chocolate, or something much fancier. The important thing is that you enjoy it.

3. Don't force yourself to do anything you don't want to do, just because it's Christmas. Do the things you enjoy. You may want Christmas decorations, fairy lights and carols from King's on the radio. You may want to watch the gloomiest Russian film you can find - even the Downton Abbey Christmas special. Do what you like. There are no rules.

4. You may miss people at this time of year. This is fine. There are people I miss because they have died. I can't bring them back to life but I try to think of them with happiness and remember the good times we shared. Yes, I mourn them and wish they were still around but I'm also very glad that I knew them. As for friends and family elsewhere, I can make arrangements to see them or get in touch later, when things will be less hectic. It's good to have something to look forward to.

5. If you feel like it, and if the weather's good, go out for a walk. If you like, you can go to church but I just went for a short afternoon walk by the canal and river. I listened to the birds and looked at the sky. There weren't many people out and I enjoyed the silence. There were a few glum couples and families but it was such a calm and lovely day that I was unusually happy. I took photos, mostly of the sky but there were also flowers in bloom.

6. Don't worry about what other people think. If they feel sorry for you, it's because they don't know what a good time you're having. Celebrate your freedom.